


For Your Consideration

by kiath



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Academy Awards, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, M/M, Oscars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-02
Updated: 2007-05-02
Packaged: 2017-10-29 15:12:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/321238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiath/pseuds/kiath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt by Casey28 for the 'Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write' meme: "Elijah falls hard for Orlando, because how could he resist someone with such great acting skills? In desperation, Dom strives to become a better actor, in hope of winning back Elijah's heart."</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Your Consideration

Penelope Cruz smiles. Her breasts sit full and high, squashed into a deep purple couture gown, an extravagant diamond necklace spilling down over her cleavage. Billy presses a palm to his chest and stares, captivated. "Oh Penelope, when will you be mine?" he croons.

_"The nominees for best actor are-"_

"This is it!" shrieks Elijah, waving his hand frantically to focus everyone’s attention on the television. Unnoticed in the corner, Dom watches Elijah's cheeks flush with excitement.

_"-Don Cheadle, for Hotel Rwanda."_

Elijah snorts a little. "Whatever."

_"Johnny Depp, for Finding Neverland."_

"Bor-ing," Elijah sing-songs.

_"Clint Eastwood, for Million Dollar Baby."_

"Pity nomination," he sniffs.

_"Leonardo DiCaprio, for The Aviator."_

"I saw that," Billy pipes up, "he was really go-"

Elijah silences him with a sharp look.

_"And Orlando Bloom, for The Calcium Kid."_

"Yay!" Elijah cheers, clapping his hands. "Go Orli!"

Dom curls his upper lip without really meaning to. He hates the way Elijah uses a pet name for Orlando, even more so the way his accent draws it out and curls around the letters. _Orrrr-li_. Sickening.

And there he is, the man of the hour, star of the surprise hit of the year. Elijah grins mindlessly at the screen as Orlando acts his heart out.

_'I've drunk three pints of milk for as long as I can remember! Because of all the calcium I've never had a filling, or been knocked out. My bones are as hard as rock!'_

Dominic rolls his eyes. Elijah applauds. Loudly.

The inexplicable win all happens so fast. Penelope presses her breasts into Orlando as she congratulates him; when he turns to camera, Oscar in hand, his smile is even more blinding than the jewels around her neck. Elijah's on his feet, whooping and cheering. He shuts up to hear Orlando's acceptance speech, and Dom can see tears in Elijah's eyes. Fucking _tears_.

The next morning, Dom starts calling his agent an hour before the office even opens.


End file.
